Grease Monkey
by The-epic-Lemon
Summary: A story made of almost complete fanservice. Soul's spending his day in the heat of Nevada fixing his broken motorcycle. Little does he know that he's being admired. Rated T form implied sexy times. SoMa. A little bit of Liz being a brat.
1. Soul

**Hey guys! New Story here from Lemon and Kiwi! **

**We went to see Footloose on Friday, and that one itty bitty scene where Ren is in a greasy T-shirt inspired this. So yeaaaaah, it's almost completely made of fanservice. **

**Kind of mature for implied sexy times. LOL. Love it. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoy, and don;t forget to review! **

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><p>He swiped his grease-stained arm across his sweaty forehead for the umpteenth time that day.<p>

Soul's motorcycle broke down on the way home from school the other day, so now he was stuck in the garage, slaving away to fix his broken 'baby'.

Cursing under his breath as sweat dripped from every inch of him, he took a step back from his bike to take a look at what he should do next.

He frowned as he looked at all the scratches in the shiny orange paint.

The bike was severely abused. It had been abandoned numerous times during missions; skidded across sidewalks, flipped on its side and knocked down streets in the heat of the moment. It was in desperate need of a repair.

Soul grabbed a can of orange spray paint. He figured that since the engine broke down, he might as well give the bike a full overhaul.

"Damn it's hot." He muttered under his breath, shaking the can and spraying a piece of paper to test its color before starting on the bike. He was completely unaware that he was being watched.

"Oh my god..." Liz whispered from their hiding place at the mouth of the garage.

"Shhhh! Be quiet or he'll hear us!" Tsubaki urged, unable to take her eyes of the white haired teen who was currently bent over slightly, examining a particularly deep gash in the paint.

His white T-shirt was soaked with sweat and grease and clung to his chest in different areas. The girls currently spying on him could barely contain the blood from pouring out of their noses.

He began to spray the scratched surface of his precious bike just as Maka and Patty were approaching Liz and Tsubaki with Deathbucks Coffee.

"Hey guys, what are you looking at?" asked Maka, much too loud for Tsubaki's liking.

"SHUT UP!" she whispered harshly, covering Maka's mouth and dragging her and Patty over to where she and Liz were hiding.

"I'm sorry, Maka, but if you don't jump your boyfriend soon, I WILL." stated Liz. Maka peeked into the door of the garage to see what they were talking about and almost fell over.

Now, Maka was a good girl. She achieved top grades, was a fantastic meister, respected her peers and elders and had never really entertained thoughts about things like dating and boys like Liz and Patty did.

Her innocent mind was stained the moment she peeked her head around the corner.

When had her partner gotten so damn…SEXY?

She stared at his grease-stained shirt, pants, well built arms and slowly brought her gaze up to his face. His eyebrows were furrowed with intense concentration and his sharp crimson eyes trained on the gaudy orange motorcycle. One side of his mouth was pulled down slightly in the corner, showing off a hint of his pearly serrated teeth. His face was smudged with grease in various places.

Her mind just barely processed all of this before he straightened up, wiping his arm across his face (leaving more smudges) and crossed his arms in front of his chest, fingertips gripping the bottom hem of his t-shirt.

"Oh god..." Tsubaki whispered, eyes growing wide. Liz's breathing hitched slightly and her grip on Maka's arm tightened. Patty let out a low whistle, bending down to get a better view.

Maka almost passed out.

The shirt was off.

Soul threw his shirt behind him and continued inspecting his bike. Now that he had finished painting it, he should let it sit to dry for a while.

He went to the cooler in the corner of the garage, grabbed a paper cup, and poured himself some cold water. When he quenched his thirst, he used to rest of the water to cool himself off by pouring the cold liquid over his head.

"Sweet Lord, this is too much," growled Liz, tightening her grip on Maka's arm, as the latter just gaped at her weapon.

Liz looked down at the blushing girl, whose green eyes were completely fixed on her albino weapon.

She grinned suddenly, an evil idea popping into her brain and lighting up her blue eyes. She straightened from her crouched position, the wicked smirk still in place on her face as the rest of the girl's looked up at her, their attention momentarily ripped away from the boy who had gone back to fixing his bike.

"Liz?" Tsubaki asked, "What is it?"

"Heh..." said girl began to fluff out her hair and brought out a small compact mirror and lip gloss she kept in the pocket of her jeans.

"Sis?" Patty's blue eyes looked at her older sibling, clearly confused.

"Liz what are you doing?" Maka inquired.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she replied haughtily. "I'm getting ready to jump his bones." She closed the compact mirror and pursed her lips. "How do I look?"

"Um, no?" Maka replied easily. "He's my partner. You can't do that." She began to glare.

"Well, you're not making any moves soon, are you darling?" Liz winked and she turned to walk into the garage.

Maka gaped. '_OH HELL NO!_' she thought.

"Hey, Soul!" said Liz as she walked into the garage. Soul looked up from his work and greeted her with a smile.

"Oh hey, Liz! What's up?" he asked innocently.

"Not too much, I was just walking by and I noticed you were in here working on your bike, so I came to see how you were doing." she replied, batting her eyelashes slightly seductively.

Soul raised an eyebrow. '_Is she coming on to me?'_ he thought.

Maka watched this scene unfold, her blood boiling the entire time. She, however, had a few tricks up her sleeve. The_ Partner _card, and The_ Roommate card. _Both could easily win this, because they knew each other better than anyone else. She grabbed the cold bottle of iced tea and stood.

She was goin' in.

"Sooouuuul!" she called out sweetly, and his face instantly brightened. "I brought you some Iced Tea! It's so hot out, and I knew you were in here, so I brought this for you!" she smiled sweetly.

"Aww thanks, Maka!" He grinned, pulling her into a hug.

'_Eat that, Liz. I got the hug.'_ She thought evilly.

Liz wanted to grin so badly, everything was playing out to her plan perfectly. It was time to take it to the next level. She quickly composed her expression while Maka handed the drink to Soul and he took a big swig.

"Soul?" She called out to him, claiming his attention once again. She held out her hand, palm up and plastered a sweet smile on her face. "Can I have a sip? It's really hot out here."

"Uhhh... sure." He handed over the beverage after a moment's hesitation, slightly confused and oblivious to the heated glare Maka was sending the elder Thompson.

"What is she doing?" Tsubaki whispered to Patty, both were transfixed on the scene playing out before them. Patty giggled, recognizing the fake smile stuck on her sister's face.

"Isn't it obvious?" She sang under her breath, "She's acting!"

"Huh?" Tsubaki was still confused.

"She's acting like that to make Maka jealous. She's trying to get Maka and Soul together." Patty explained.

Liz took a swig and licked her lips. She wiped her mouth seductively and handed the bottle back to Soul, who took it with a look of confusion.

"Ahhh," she sighed, "thank you very much, Soul. That was refreshing." She said as her eyes travelled across his bare chest.

Soul, now feeling extremely uncomfortable, had never felt so naked before in his life. "Um, it's no problem…" he mumbled quietly, completely oblivious to Maka's growing glare.

Liz was not finished though. '_This one ought to get a rise out of Maka…_' she thought.

"So Soul…" said Liz, coming closer. "Have you been working out? You look great!" she winked.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT. EVERYONE OUT. _NOW_." Maka yelled.

Liz let herself grin this time, and instead took another step forward closer to the now very wary boy who watched her cautiously. She dragged a well-manicured finger down his scar and looking him directly in the face.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked 'innocently'.

"Liz..." Maka growled.

"Uh...sometimes.." Soul squirmed slightly under her touch, completely uncomfortable. His unease grew even more when she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I could help take your mind off it y'know." She emphasized every word.

"LIZ!" Maka shrieked.

Both Soul and Liz brought their attention immediately to the ash blonde girl who was currently fuming with rage. She stalked forward and grabbed the back of Liz's shirt, yanking her away from Soul. The demon gun protested lightly as she was pushed roughly towards the entrance of the garage. Maka stopped her mission to get Liz the hell out of there only for a second to smash her thick copy of Shakespeare's plays into her partner's skull before she began pushing again.

She shoved Liz out of the garage and slammed the door shut.

Maka whirled on Soul, who was now on the ground nursing his abused skull. He shied away from her fierce glare. Soul's heart began to race in fear as she began to stalk towards him.

"I-I didn't do anything, Maka!" he tried to explain. He was so dead.

She dropped to her knees and grabbed him harshly, slamming her lips on his.

His eyes widened in shock, but soon gave up and returned this forced kiss. Maka pressed him closer to the ground and climbed on top of him, kissing him furiously.

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><p>Liz was laughing hysterically now, mission a complete success.<p>

"What the hell was that?" scolded Tsubaki.

"Hey, it was completely necessary." said Liz, matter-of-factly.

"Poor Soul. Never meant to hurt anyone." sighed Tsubaki, now sad that the glorious torso show was over.

"Well, it couldn't be helped." Liz shrugged.

"What couldn't be helped?" A deep drawl came from behind them. The three female weapon's turned to see Kidd walking towards them, hands in the pockets of his pants with Black Star at his heels.

"N-nothing!" Stammered Tsubaki, blushing lightly at being caught.

"Yeah, nothing!" Liz laughed nervously, scratching the side of her head before clamping her hand over her sister's mouth as she started singing 'Soul and Ma~ka sittin' in a tree!'.

Kidd raised an eyebrow at the slightly flustered group of girls as Black Star spoke up, putting his arms behind his head.

"Hey have you guys seen Soul? We wanna play a game of basketball."

"Um…he might be…busy at the moment," said Liz carefully.

"What's going on?" asked Kid, a bit suspicious now.

"Nothing!" said Liz, "Although I'm pretty sure the paint job Soul just did on his bike is going to be ruined…" she muttered out of the corner of her mouth to the rest of the girls. The ladies proceeded to giggle madly.

Kid looked Liz in the eye and spoke carefully. "What's going on, and I want the truth."

Liz sighed. "You really want to know?" she asked, a smirk growing on her face.

Kid nodded.

"There may or may not be a hot make-out session between Maka and Soul in this garage behind us."

Kid and Black Star just stared.

A loud crash was heard from inside the garage.

There was a moment of silence between the 5 friends before Kidd turned around suddenly and began walking quickly away from the garage.

"Forget I asked." He muttered as Liz and Patty ran to catch up with him the latter giggling like crazy. Tsubaki took one last look at the closed door before following after the Death God and his weapons with a sigh, still replaying the mental image of Soul's half naked body through her mind. It took her a moment to realize that her meister was not walking beside her.

"Black Star?" She called softly to the blue haired ninja who was still staring at the door with a thoughtful expression. With a small huff he turned around to join his partner and put his arms behind his head again.

"They seriously need to get laid."

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><p>Soul and Maka sat on the ground with their backs to the table in the garage, Soul's pants clumsily thrown back on, Maka wearing nothing but her paint-stained panties and Soul's dirty T-shirt.<p>

Soul sat there wide-eyed and confused. '_What…the hell was that?' _He thought.

Maka cleared her throat and turned to look at him.

His slightly nervous and confused look made her giggle.

"You alright?" she asked.

"Y-yeah." He said, eyes still wide. "You?"

"Fantastic!" She beamed.

Soul stared back at his bike and frowned.

"What's the matter?" Maka asked, concerned.

"What the fuck happened to my bike?" he asked, a mildly disturbed expression on his face.

"I think we knocked it over when…you know…" she mumbled.

He frowned again before turning his gaze back to his fidgeting meister.

"Speaking of which," he spoke slowly, "Mind explaining what that was all about?"

Maka glanced at him nervously before raising her arm to scratch the back of her head, lifting up the thin t-shirt she was wearing to expose a strip of creamy white skin. Soul stated at it for a moment before refocusing on the beet red face of the girl.

"Um...well...you see...Liz said...ahaha...I don't know?" she finally met his eyes and gave a slight shrug, "I guess I just got really, really jealous and angry."

A wicked grin spread across Soul's face and he laughed, a deep throaty chuckle before leaning over to yank on one of Maka's pigtails playfully.

"Remind me to get you angry more often." He teased, "You're way less boring."

He caught the anger that flashed through her green eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait, Maka! I didn't mean it like that!"

He barely had time to get out a sentence before the book hit him square in the face.

He pulled the book off of his face, guffawing loudly as Maka joined in. The two of them laughed until they hurt, and Soul was still giggling as she began to speak again.

"Fuck, I really need a shower." He said, wiping some laughter-induced tears from his eyes.

"God, but you're so hot when you're all greasy and stuff." She sighed.

He stared at her, his signature smirk on his face. "Well, maybe if you ladies enjoy it when I barely wear clothes, we should make this a recurring event…" He stated, a sly grin on his face.

"Only for me," she replied quickly, "because I can be a jealous bitch." She gave him a warning glare.

"Deal." He winked as he stood and held his hand out to help her up.

"Deal." She agreed as she took his hand and the two of them started gathering their discarded clothes and heading up to their apartment.

…

Elsewhere, Spirit Albarn was clutching his chest in surprise. Something felt terribly out of place, like the balance in his world had shifted, the equilibrium thrown off.

After a few moments of heavy breathing he straightened and stretched, the awful feeling subsiding. He had no clue what it had been and brushed it off to the side as he continued his trek to the door of the Death Room, daydreaming about the ways he could make his darling daughter accept and love him.

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><p><strong>WE APOLOGIZE. THE THOUGHT NEEDED TO ESCAPE FROM OUR BRAINS AND IT WAS THE SEXIEST THING I'VE EVER IMAGINED (LIES).<strong>

**Anywho, hope you liked it, and don't forget to REVIEW **

**xo Lemon and Kiwi**


	2. Maka

**OMG YOU GUYS. WE'RE POSTING SOMETHING. YAAAAAAAY. AND WHAT'S THIS? I SEQUEL TO GREASE MONKEY! YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH**

**So we hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review! **

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><p>It was just your normal Tuesday afternoon at the DWMA, students hurrying out of the academy to their homes.<p>

Soul, Black Star, and Kid were taking their time strolling through the halls, talking about this and that. When the conversation of last week's heat wave came up.

"So," Black Star began casually, putting his arms behind his head as they walked, "Did you end up fixing your motorcycle last week?"

Kid immediately perked up at where this conversation was headed, he had been meaning to question Soul about what his twin pistols meant by "hot makeout session in the garage". Said boy in question widened his eyes a little bit, but his faced remained stoic as he answered with a cool, level voice.

"Yeah, I did. But it got ruined again during the mission Maka and I went on a couple days later. The paint has scratches all over it again."

Black Star raised an eyebrow at him. "You sure it was the mission that did that?

Soul eyed him suspiciously. "What are you insinuating?" he said cautiously.

Kid gave him a mischievous grin. "You sure that nothing _else_ happened to you bike?" he taunted. "Something a little bit more _racy_?"

"What are you talking about?" Soul deadpanned. But underneath his oblivious façade, Soul was panicking. _Did they know about what happened between him and Maka in the garage?_

"Well, I just heard some _things_ from Liz and Patty…" Kid trailed off.

"Look, Kid." Soul cut him off before he could get out another word. "Liz likes to believe anything even remotely related to sex, and last time I checked, Patty decorated your entire mansion with crayons to make it look like a giraffe. Are they really reliable sources?"

Black Star grinned. "A little quick to defend there, don't ya think Soul?"

"Come on guys! My motorcycle got damaged when I was on the mission with Maka, okay?" he was frantic now.

"That's not true, Soul." Kid said calmly.

"And how do you know that?" Soul growled.

Black Star answered this time. "Because you didn't take your motorcycle with you on the mission."

Soul paled and stuttered, "I-I-I, hey what's that over there?"

Kid gave him an unimpressed look, "Don't try and distract us, Soul."

"No! Seriously! What's going on over there?" he pointed down the hallway where a group of guys had crowded around a half open door and were whispering about whatever they were so transfixed on inside.

Soul, Black Star, and Kid walked over, curiosity taking over. As they approached, the group of boys surrounding the door spotted Soul and quickly scattered.

Now confused, he took a peek through the door to find his Meister in her spandex gym shorts and a sports bra, training with a judo stick.

All three boys' jaws dropped.

Instead of her usual twin pigtails, her ash blonde hair was tied up in a loose bun on the top of her head, showing off her long neck. The sports bra and spandex exposed a lot of skin, her slender torso and lean ivory legs on display for the whole world to see. Sweat dripped off every part of her and she spun, flipped and kicked to the music that was playing through the headphones she jammed into her ears.

Evidently, she was completely unaware of the audience that had gathered around the door to watch her as she continued her workout, gracefully running to the nearest wall and using it to propel herself into a flip, landing lightly on her feet and using the stick to send jabs to imaginary foes.

On the other side of the door however, all three of her guy best friends were struck speechless.

"Well, this is a change…" Black Star said awkwardly, the slightest tint across his cheeks.

"Yeah…" added Kid, also beginning to blush.

"Stop ogling my partner!" Soul whispered harshly.

"Why? Are you jealous that you're not in there with her, while she spins _you_ around?" teased Black Star.

Soul snapped his head to Black Star, gaping at the obvious situation he was hinting at.

"What? Come on guys, knock it off!" Soul snapped.

"Maybe I should go in there and see how she's doooooiiiiinnnngggg…" said Kid as he began to get up and open the door.

But before he could Soul grabbed the back of his collar and threw him back down to the ground.

"I don't think so!" Soul snarled viciously. Both Black Star and Kid then agreed that taunting Soul the way Liz had taunted Maka (Liz told Kid about that later) would end with them six feet under.

"Hey! Sit down!" One of the boys from the group that had gathered earlier whispered harshly at the white haired teen, obviously annoyed that their little "show" had been cut off.

Soul turned around slowly, his crimson eyes burning with malice as he bared his jagged teeth at the other boy, who in turn fell backwards and tried scrambling away before one of his friends helped him up and suggested that they get out of there before things got ugly.

Soul sighed before turning back to his friends who were both giving him inquisitive looks. He glared at them, then stalked past and through the half open door, shutting it behind him and sliding the lock closed.

Maka noticed his entrance out of the corner of her eye and stopped her workout, panting heavily. She pulled her headphones out of her ears and leaned the judo stick against the wall.

"Oh, Hey Soul! What's up?" she asked with an adoring smile, wiping the sweat off her forehead and pushing her flattened bangs to the side.

She only had a moment to collect her thoughts before he sauntered up to her, grabbing her shoulders and pressing his lips against hers.

Maka gasped when they broke apart, taken aback by his sudden forcefulness as he rested his forehead against hers.

"You. Me. Now." he growled, a low throaty sound filled with different emotions. She only needed to nod once before his lips were moving against hers again and the meister and weapon sank to the floor.

Kid and Black Star gaped as they heard the bolt of the lock, both boys pressing their ears against the door to hear what was going on on the other side.

They shared a look as they heard a muffled gasp accompanied by a low growl, Kid pushed away from the door first, his expression bordering the lines of humor and amazement.

"Well, I guess that confirms that rumor right Black Star? Black Star!" he turned back to the other boy, whose ear was still pressed against the door, a cruel grin spreading across his face. Kid grabbed the back of his shirt, yanking him away as the blue haired boy protested loudly.

"Aw man, Kid! It was just getting good!"

"We don't need to go intruding on their privacy Black Star." The young Shinigami replied.

Black Star cackled loudly, turning away from the door and walking back down the hallway from which they had come from.

"As if. I can't wait to spread this around the school!"

Kid sighed and put his hands into the pockets of his pants, a blank expression on his face once again.

"Just wait until _Spirit _hears about this…" he groaned.

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><p><strong>And there you have it! Ta da!<strong>

**Made this just for you guys! **

**Don't forget to review!**

**-Love Lem and Kiwi**


	3. Caught

***awkwardly publishes an update***

**Guys.**

**We are _sooo_ sorry for the long wait. School and life issues have made writing slightly difficult. So in hopes that you guys don't hate us too much,**

**we post the much requested chapter of Spirit finding out. **

**Love you guys more than anything, **

**Lemon and Kiwi. **

**Enjoy, and please review.**

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><p>Black Star had a keen ability to screw someone over like it was no body's business. Except, in Black Star's mind, someone's personal secret was EVERYBODY'S business. Consequently, it was no surprise that the rumors of Soul and Maka's "sexcapades" circulated the academy faster than you could blink.<p>

Everyone in the school knew that there was always something off about their meister-weapon relationship, so when the rumors spread it wasn't much of a surprise to anybody.

Except one.

Once a certain red headed death scythe got word of the steamy sessions between his beloved daughter and her good for nothing weapon, Spirit Albarn was on a mission. The plan was really quite simple in his mind: for defiling his baby girl, Soul Evans was a dead man.

So, Maka and Soul sat in their classroom, ignoring the glances in their direction accompanied with hushed whispers and giggles.

"When will these fucking rumors die down, already?" growled a very irritated Soul.

"I have no idea. All I know is I'm going to _end_ Black Star." was Maka's angry reply.

She ground her teeth together as she heard the blue-haired idiot giggling in the row behind her accompanied by Tsubaki's "Black Star hush! They can hear you!" which only made him laugh harder and louder.

Maka resisted the urge to throw the chair she was sitting in at his head, when Stein wheeled in, making all whispering of the scandalous adventures cease instantly.

Professor Stein eyed Maka and Soul briefly before cackling and grinning mischievously while lightly shaking his head.

Maka put her head on her desk in humiliation. Soul wanted to die right there. If Stein knew, it was only a matter of time before Spirit found out.

And when that happened, he was a dead man.

"So, have you heard? About Soul and Maka?" Said pair both snapped their attention to Ox Ford as he leaned over to talk in a hushed voice to his partner Harver.

The other boy huffed, already bored with where this conversation was going, "Of course I've heard, who hasn't?"

Ox shook his head, "No, no, not about that."

"Then what is it?" Harver glanced over at his meister as a wicked grin spread across Ox's face.

"Spirit found out."

Maka blanched.

Soul felt his heart stop beating.

As if on cue, Spirit silently walked through the door, an expression of malice and promised pain on his face. He glanced up at his daughter and her partner, pointed at both of them, then pointed to the hall, and silently walked out the door.

Everyone turned around to look at them, grins on their faces and mischief in their eyes.

Soul was as white as a ghost, while Maka was as red as a tomato.

"What do we do?" Maka didn't dare look at her partner, knowing full well that the panic on his face was identical to what her expression probably looked like.

Soul calmed his voice as much as possible.

"I say," he began slowly, "we go out the window."

"We can't do that!" Maka glanced at the window, weighing the possibility of escape. "He'll most likely find out! He knows where we live, Soul!"

"Then," he set his face in determination, "we'll barricade the front door, and all the windows."

"He's a Death Scythe, you really think that's going to work?"

"We'll get Blair to put up a barrier around the apartment."

"Right, and after that why don't we all put on clogs and do a Highland Dance. I'm telling you, it's not going to work!"

Soul could barely move his lips to form a reply before an enraged yell from the hallway cut off their argument.

"SOUL EVANS, YOU GET YOUR SLIMY ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU BASTARD." Yelled Spirit from the hallway.

Maka and Soul looked at each other before looking toward the window.

"AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO ESCAPE THROUGH THE WINDOW."

"Shit." Soul muttered as everybody in the class giggled, Black Star doing his naturally obnoxious laugh while Tsubaki looked at them with worried eyes. Kid only sighed before shaking his head and huffing out 'idiots', Liz and Patty attempting to conceal their snorts of amusement with coughs.

The pair made their way down the steps, heads hanging low before reaching the doorway.

Stein patted the two on the shoulder while quietly muttering an amused "it was nice knowin' you two" as they walked out the door to meet their fate.

After they closed the door behind them, they turned to look at Spirit's enraged and disturbingly terrifying face.

"Now, I want to hear YOUR side of the story behind these rumors." he began calmly. "Are they true?"

Both remained silent, unsure of how to answer the question AND still escape with their lives. They could always lie; say the rumors were false, just tidbits of gossip that someone had thought would be funny to spread around. However, there were eyewitnesses. More specifically, a blue haired ninja who did not know how to keep his mouth shut, and, knowing Spirit, he would probably hunt down every bit of information he could about this before letting this thing slide.

If they told the truth though, Spirit would murder Soul on the spot before mounting his head on a spear and putting it up in the front of the school for the whole academy to see that trying anything with Maka would result in either death or castration. Not to mention, he would probably lock his daughter up in a padded room for the rest of her life.

So, they did the only thing they could do.

They stayed silent.

Spirit however, took this silence as a confirmation.

Spirit directed his glare completely toward Soul now, and as Spirit silently slaughtered Soul in his mind, Maka realized that they wouldn't be in this situation if it hadn't been for her jumping him in the garage.

Soul didn't deserve to die alone in this. It was almost completely her fault for starting this.

"Papa," she began quietly.

"_What._" He glared hard at her and she hesitated.

"It's not his fault. I started this mess." she said quietly.

"...huh? That's impossible." Spirit growled. "Oi! Octopus head! What kind of plan are you scheming by making my Maka take the blame?" Spirit grabbed Soul's shirt collar and bared his teeth in his face. "I swear I'm going to kill you-"

"PAPA!" Maka yanked her father off of her partner and stepped in between them, eyes narrowed in anger as they watched the red head fall flat on his butt in the middle of the hallway. "I told you! I was the one that started everything!"

"…what?" came Spirit's unintelligent response.

"I started it!" she yelled in rage.

A faint "OHHHHHH" could be heard from the classroom.

"What do you mean you started it?" Spirit asked nervously. His beloved baby daughter couldn't possibly be telling him that _she_ was the instigator.

Maka sighed in exasperation, placing her hands on her hips and closing her eyes. "I MEAN, I'm the one who started it. It's pretty self explanatory Papa."

Soul felt a cold sweat starting as he could tell where this conversation was headed.

"I don't understand, how could you possibly have done something like that, my angel? And with that...that... JELLYFISH!" Spirit cried.

Maka ignored the annoyed "Hey!" that came from the boy behind her and opened her eyes, jaw set, anger at its peak.

"I MEAN I'M THE ONE WHO JUMPED HIM FIRST PAPA. ALRIGHT?"

The classroom echoed with chuckles, woots and whistles as Maka's father gaped openly.

Then, silence.

"...MAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Spirit wailed as he clung to the leg of his only daughter who in return gave him a completely disgusted look. "WHYYY MAKA? DADDY LOVES YOU SO MUCH! I RAISED YOU RIGHT DIDN'T I? WHYY-" his crying was abruptly cut off as a massive copy of "The Theory of Evolution" smashed into his head, leaving a rather large and painful looking indent.

"I always raised you with the best example to not become like your Papa..." wept Spirit as he laid in a defeated heap.

"Well THAT sure-as-hell didn't keep her out of my boxers..." drawled Soul.

Maka swiftly turned towards him, her expression that of horror and disgust, and slammed the book into his face, throwing him onto his ass as the class echoed with a series of "Oh burn!" and "Oh SNAAAP!"

"Watch yourself, Octopus head!" yelled Spirit from the floor as Soul nursed his aching jaw. "I'm still gonna kill you for defiling my little angel!"

"Oh please! She was MORE than willing! Probably even more than I was!" replied Soul.

Their argument stopped suddenly as they felt the menacing aura radiating off of the pigtailed blonde crawl over their skin. Both men looked up to see the rage filled expression that practically screamed malice and murderous intent, neither could get another word out before the 400 page book smashed into both their heads, knocking them unconscious and spattering the hallway with blood.

Maka walked away with a huff, muttering 'morons' under her breath as she wiped her book off and marched back into the classroom. Stein looked at the gory scene with mild amusement, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before turning around and wheeling himself back into his room.

"Well, we can see who wears the pants here." he chuckled darkly as he shut the door.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's it! Hope you guys liked it!<strong>

**We've kind of hit a stand-still with _Secrets_, so if you guys have any ideas, PM me. **

**Much love,**

**Lemon and Kiwi**


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